Christmas Pics

I'll just say this: We did a sad job of taking pictures over Christmas this year. Sad. Not one picture of my brother with the kiddos, only one or two of Christmas morning. Sad. Here's what I came up with to share:


Sam and Kate waiting to take the dog gate (i.e. chair) down from the stairs to see what Santa left!

Kate checking out Baby Cinderella. Note Star Wars ship in the background. BIG ship.

Kate on her new princess tricycle. It was from Mamaw and Papaw. I need a picture of her in the beautiful (and machine washable) princess dress that Grandma made and gave her too, but alas, no picture of that.


Sam and Kate enjoying some foaming bath soap after Christmas. Unfortunately, the top got messed up on this, their first use, and so the entire canister of bath foam was dispensed within about 10 minutes. Needless to say, it was a mess. I think there is still foam in there...

Christmas Recap

What a crazy December we had! It seemed like we were constantly running from event to event. (My dishwasher never stopped running either!) We had a really nice holiday, and I'm sure I won't remember all of the exciting details, but some of my favorite moments with the kids are documented below. You know, for posterity.

Sam had a laundry list of items he wanted for Christmas, but Santa chose to bring MarioKart AND a Star Wars LEGO spaceship. Between that and all of his other loot, he was pretty well satisfied. Stuart showed him how to track Santa's flight on Christmas Eve, so despite my attempts to keep up with our other traditions—Jesus' birthday cake and happy birthday song, Christmas pjs, reading of our favorite Christmas book—Sam was really just concerned with getting on the laptop to see where Santa was. He even made Dad bring the laptop to his bedroom to check one last time before going to sleep.

When he woke up the next morning, he snuck into our room and whispered, "Santa came, mommy, and he brought me just what I wanted!" "How do you know that?" I asked. "I looked! Santa didn't wrap his presents like on TV!" "That's because Santa didn't think that you would peek!" I said. So I guess next year, Santa's wrapping presents. Sam waited a full hour before we let him wake up Kate and head downstairs. He was so excited about the whole thing that he was jumping up and down and cheering, so Kate did too.

Kate had asked for Dora and a baby doll. So, Santa brought her a Dora doll and a baby Cinderella doll that crawls and giggles. She was very pleased. He also brought her a toy doctor's kit, which she now refers to as her 'doctor purse.' It was a big hit. In fact, I couldn't now tell you, two weeks later, where the Dora doll ended up, but she plays with the doctor's kit and calls herself Dr. Kate.

We had lots of time with family and friends over the holidays, including a visit from my brother and his wife. The kids really enjoyed that. We all went to movies, played putt putt inside the mall, and played MarioKart. One night we went to see Bedtime Stories, minus Sam and Stuart, and when the credits came on at the beginning—with the big Disney castle logo and such—Kate started yelling, "It's Cinderella's Castle! I see it. You see it mommy? That's Cinderella's Castle!!!" Fortunately, I think it was more amusing and less annoying for the full theater of people. At least I hope so. Philip thought it was hilarious.

While we were at the movie, Sam went to a birthday party at CocoKey (indoor water park) for one of his classmates. You know how Sam has a way with the ladies, but apparently he was quite a hit and had a great time at the party. Stuart went as our official lifeguard/chaperone. Apparently his idea of chaperoning is a little different than mine, because Sam came home and, after prompting from Stuart, told us that he got kissed by the birthday girl in the HOT TUB. I'm not sure at what age I thought hot tub kissing would start, but I really don't think I anticipated 5.

All in all, it was a pretty great Christmas. I sure am glad to have it over with though!

Fainting

Sometime after Sam's school concert, he looked at me in all seriousness and said, "I almost fainted when I saw Liesl last night." After I asked for clarification, he responded, "Liesl looked so beautiful that I thought I would faint!"

I said, "Honey, Mommy and Daddy have been married for a long time and he's never once fainted."

I told Liesl's mom about Sam's comment (I know, someday he'll be moritified to hear that I shared these things!), and she laughed and asked if Stuart said things like this at home. Yeah right. I'm not sure where he comes up with this stuff-- must be TV or something-- but it sure was funny.

A few more pictures

Some funny pictures from the last month or so...

Maddie sitting in the snow. She's definitely a snow-loving dog.

Sam decided one day that he wanted to make a gingerbread house. Naturally, we found a kit, but it was still pretty tough work. He really worked hard putting on the little candy and making it look good. Daddy and I took turns helping...

Crown Center

Sam has this thing about Crown Center. We saw two santas earlier this week, but he wanted to go see Santa again at Crown Center this weekend. After a 90 minute wait (UGH!), we finally saw Santa again. They asked for basically the same things. Kate was funny.. when he asked her if she'd been a good girl she responded, 'Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm." I thought 'isn't that the truth!'

We really went to see the trains at Union Station, but we ended up back at Crown Center.

Christmas Singing

Sam's had his two Christmas concerts-- one singing songs at church (not technically a concert), and at school last night. I got horrible pics last night, but here are a few from the weekend... The first two are church, the last is from school.

He really did such a good job singing at both performances. We had several people tell him what a joy he is to have in class. I know, he's perfect. :)

Innocent no more…

It makes me shudder to even think about this, but it was pretty funny.

Yesterday, when we were shopping, we walked past the lingerie department at JCPenney's. Not exactly Victoria's Secret, mind you, but they had the typical displays and pictures of women wearing nothing but, well, lingerie. I thought nothing of it until we walked by one poster and Sam said something to the effect of, "She's hot!" which I, of course, ignored so as not to arouse curiosity.

Wrong.

I spun around and said, "What do you mean 'hot'? Like cute? Or nice? Or…"

"Like my girlfriends. They're hot too."

"Oh. Good to know," I responded and moved quickly to the pjs.

Good grief.

Santa Visits

We had a snow day at our house yesterday. That doesn't mean too much with a preschooler and toddler at home, but I thought it would be fun to have a completely free day with nothing to do. We'll just run a couple of errands. Right.

The kids wanted to go see Santa, and frankly I thought that might entice Kate to stop crying about gymnastics class being cancelled, so off we went. After a couple of quick stops, I figured out Sam thought we were going to see Santa at Crown Center. I explained that I meant to see Santa at Independence Center—which was all very confusing, the idea of santa being at both places and all. I'm not a convincing liar I'm afraid. I mean, imaginer—not liar.

We made it to Santa at the Independence Center and he was just fine. He asked the kids what they wanted and even helped when needed. That was good, because Kate's response to his inquiry about what she wanted for Christmas went something like this: "Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm……" He suggested a baby doll and she said yes (I thought – HA!). And he clarified, "Like a Dora?" "Yes! Dora!" she said. Perfect.

For Sam, he said he wanted a Star Wars ship. "A lego one?" Santa asked. "Yes," Sam replied. Great.

While at lunch, we got a call from Sam's train buddy Bill informing us about the Santa Train visiting downtown Blue Springs. I flew into high gear and got Kate down for a nap, wrapped presents, and got to Blue Springs by 4 pm to meet Bill and see the Christmas Train. I hadn't planned on the 45 minutes outside waiting in line for the train, but the kids were super and played in the snow and ate popcorn and drank hot chocolate. Would you know that neither one of them complained once? It's a standard I had trouble living up to myself. This Santa was friendly, but pretty busy, so no new lists were created.

The Pre-K Dating Scene

Some of you know that Sam has two girlfriends at school. They both seem to know about it, in fact they are best friends, and it doesn't seem to be a problem. It's a new generation.

Sam came home last week and told me at the dinner table that he and Grace are talking about going on a date.

"Oh really?" I ask. "What do you do on a date?"

"Well, you know… you just kind of eat or something. And stuff like that," he said.

"Where are you going to go on this date?"

"Probably here [our house]," he replied.

I was just about to ask when that was going to be, when he added, "When you're our age, sometimes they are called a PLAY date."

Disney Pics

Okay, here are a few pics from Disney World. There may be more when I get the official Disney pictures, but there are some of my favorites:

Kate and Cinderella. Kate is doing her "CHEESE" which involves closed eyes. We have LOTS of pictures of closed eyes!

Kate and Sam working the drums at Animal Kingdom.

Sam was a big helper. He and Kate really had fun together. He enjoyed pushing Kate's stroller, when she would let him. Usually mommy was the requested stroller-pusher.

Kate and Mommy on the Finding Nemo ride at Epcot.

Sam and Kate in a quiet moment on the way back to the hotel from Magic Kingdom. I'm sure it was followed by more wrestling...

Sam and Kate with the Santa made entirely of Legos.

Sam and his ketchup bottles!

Sam at the fort on Tom Sawyer's island. Even though he wasn't too keen on the caves and such, he really liked the fort.

Kate as a jedi on some sort of Star Wars speedster thing. She loved it, even though it was just a prop, not a ride.

Sam in the Jedi Training Academy. As you can see, he's taking it very seriously.

Kate and Daddy in line at Toy Story Mania, one of our favorite rides. Mr. Potato Head talked to onlookers as we stood in line.

Our little bus riders. Look, Mom, no seatbelts!

Sam and Kate chillin' on the boat.



Kate demonstrating how we all felt at the end of our trip-- totally wiped out!

Disney Moments

Yes, almost two weeks ago now we returned from our first family trip to Walt Disney World. Was it magical? Did the kids have a great time? We've heard all the questions, and want to provide as many answers as possible. But some things are best remembered in pictures and pieces than in whole, and this trip was one of them.

Why, you don't sound thrilled to pieces with your trip, you ask. Um, well… it was a terrific trip and the kids had a great time. However, as any parent of small children whose been to WDW might tell you, the trip is less vacation and more frenzy than I'd expected. They both did really well with the flights and hotel, and they really enjoyed meeting all of the characters. Except for the Mad Hatter. He was scary. But we had a bit of an adjustment period. It seems we thought that being big enough physically for a ride means being big enough emotionally for a ride, and that is just not the case. Plus, in a 5 year old's head, hyping up the Lego store before the visit generates an intense desire to see the Lego store quickly, a fact we hadn't taken into account initially. So, after a few tempestuous days, we made a few adjustments and had a much better trip.

We stayed at the Wilderness Lodge, which was really nice and very close to the Magic Kingdom. The outdoor pool area was really awesome, but it was cool most of the week so we had little opportunity to explore. We did let the kids swim one day when it hit a whopping 70 degrees. I had never seen lifeguards in parkas before, but we saw that most of the week at WDW.

Rather than relay the entirety of our visit to Disney, I'll just describe a few great moments:

… the night we arrived we ate at Cinderella's Royal Table (abbreviated CRT by those in the know). It was outrageously priced (though we were on a meal plan which made that irrelevant) and really hyped, which made me skeptical. To talk Sam into enjoying the evening, we let him know that boys receive a special sword when they visit—he liked that. We went for dinner, and I was pleasantly surprised by the experience. Not only was the atmosphere great—it was neat to see into the castle and be treated as "royal family Matthews"—but the food was terrific. While we were there, we were even able to watch fireworks out the windows. I would highly recommend it to anyone.

…At CRT, and most everywhere else at Disney World, they refer to little girls as "princess." Kate would look at me and say, "I not a princess, right mommy? Right??!!" So I asked her, "What are you, then?" "I'm a jedi" was her regular response. What a woman.

…I'm not sure where it came from, but one of Sam's new techniques is to run down the long corridor to the hotel room and dive and roll on the ground, like Indiana Jones. I would blame it on the Indiana Jones stunt show we saw, but he began doing it immediately upon arrival. So, of course, Kate had to dive and roll too.

…Sam was selected as a participant at the Jedi Training Academy at Hollywood Studios. He and about 20 other little boys and girls went on stage and learned a fight scene with their plastic light sabers. Then Darth Vader came out to test their skills, complete with the breathing, two storm troopers, and special light saber sound effects. I thought Sam and some of the others would run right off the stage. But when it was Sam's turn, he went right up and fought Vader. Such a proud moment. It was definitely one of the highlights of his trip—he told Matt and Meaghan all about it Sunday.

…When the kids were really fussy Tuesday, we let them take a LONG nap and Daddy came in with a suggestion: How 'bout McDonalds and Legos tonight? Woo, the excitement. To think, we flew all the way to Florida for McDonalds. I always wondered who those people eating at McD on vacation were… Oh. Now I know.

…We went to this Mickey's Backyard BBQ dinner show one night. Sam didn't really dig the dancing with the characters thing, but boy, Kate did. She went right up to Mickey with about 20 other kids and couldn't understand why he wouldn't hold her hands and dance just with her. I have two theories: one, Mickey couldn't see her—she was right at his feet and I think she was easily overlooked. Two, Mickey was trying to group dance. It's a common mistake. She was so disappointed that he didn't SEE her though.

…We ate at the restaurant in our hotel one night—we were just too tired to make the reservations across at another theme park, so we chanced no reservations! We got in and the place was so fun! They had stick horse races for the kids around the restaurant and when Sam asked for ketchup, the waiter yelled, "Does anyone have KETCHUP????!!!!" Sure enough, here comes every bottle of ketchup in the joint. Sam just laughed and laughed. The waiter asked if that was enough and I gave a sarcastic look—he brought out 5 more bottles. Then when it was our turn, we, with the help of a cute 4 year old girl at the next table, delivered the 20+ bottles to someone else. Stu was smart enough to keep one, just in case.

…Sam's favorite rides change all the time, and we figured out that sometimes we were interpreting his disinterest in reriding something (like a rollercoaster that only one parent could ride on at a time) as fear. We figured out later it was really boredom/a desire to keep us moving so he didn't miss anything. His favorite ride list seems to be: Big Thunder Mountain (which we tricked him onto), the Barnstormer, Buzz Lightyear (which he rode 6 times one afternoon with dad during naptime), Toy Story Mania, and Star Tours. Kate's favorites were the tea cups, the Barnstormer, Buzz, and Toy Story Mania. Oh, they really liked Small World too. And after going to some of the shows… Little Mermaid and Philharmagic, Kate left reluctantly, in tears, because she wanted "more movie, mama. More movie!"

Okay, I'll post pictures later, but here's finally the recap you've all been waiting for. Enjoy.

October Picture Update

Okay, big events. Lots of pictures. Here we go...

These are a couple of cowboy pics from our day at the pumpkin patch...

Now a picture of the infamous storm trooper pumpkin...

And Kate the birthday girl, on her actual birthday. We celebrated with a trip to (where else) McDonalds. She loved it. At her checkup she was 35.5 inches (90%) and 32 pounds (95%). I really thought she would be taller than that! Doesn't she look super fly in her cute birthday outfit?!

Now for halloween. Spooky halloween. Kate was Cinderella (pronounced: sin-dee-REL-ah) and Sam was a jedi, which Kate readily told people.

And here's a picture of what Kate thinks is beautiful (like Cinderella):

And Kate's birthday party, a Dora-filled family celebration:

Our friend Doug (known to kate as "My Dougie") spent some quality time coloring with the birthday girl. She also received a phone call from our celebrity friend, Lindsay. (or she's at least celebrity status to Kate)

We also had two soccer games this weekend. Here's Mr. Soccer in action. Or not.

Top off the weekend with a sick day for mom, a sick day for Kate, and small group, and you've got a good picture of our very busy Halloweekend.

Pumpkin Time

Last year, we carved pumpkins on Halloween Eve with the help of the Wilkersons. Apparently that was the beginning of a tradition, because Sam and Kate were invited to carve again last night.

After a yummy (messy) spaghetti dinner, the kids stayed and played pumpkin with the Wilkerson clan (Janet, Bill, Meaghan and boyfriend Matt). Matt, Sam and Bill created a storm trooper pumpkin that is really something to see! I’ll post a picture when we light it tonight and take one. Meaghan and Kate (and crew) worked on a bride/groom penguin pumpkin that was pretty cute too. I’m wondering if this is a reference to the Friends “penguins mate for life” which was really lobsters, but Janet got confused when she gave us Christmas penguins for our wedding all those years ago…

Apparently while they were there, Sam decided he needed to take off his shirt to carve pumpkins. I’m not sure why. So he did. Later he was fake playing the guitar hero guitar and singing, “I’m playing guitar hero. I’m shirtless. I’m playing guitar hero shirtless.” He’s a real hunk. When I asked him about taking his shirt off, I was told: “I was hot. And my shirt is too small.” Good to know.

BMB: Enough growing already!

As a parent, I feel constantly torn between the two extremes of looking forward to my kids being older and keeping them young while I still can. I very firmly do not want to have any more babies. That is clearer and clearer all the time (and probably warrants a bad mom post of its own). But something about Kate’s 2nd birthday today makes me think about how quickly the time passes and how easily I forget the little moments that make little ones so special.


The parent mantra is all about helping your children grow up. Grow into better, complete, responsible individuals, contributors to society who remember their manners and have enough ambition to move out someday and live a life of their own. All of that is very good. My friends with school-aged children can take them to movies, on roller coasters, and drop them off at parties without batting an eye or taking an extra change of clothes.

Growing up means great things for Kate. She has friendships, sleepovers, catfights, good books, first kisses, and meaningful goodbyes ahead. She will grow bigger, stronger, smarter, and braver (heaven help me). She’ll have her own dreams to replace those I have for her, and she’ll impose her strong will on someone other than just me.

But being little had its moments too. Kate was a laid-back, happy baby who was not at all colicky or high maintenance. She survived a rough bout of stomach flu that put her in the hospital, but bonded mother and daughter like no bedtime ritual ever has. She competed valiantly with Sam—wanting to be just like her big brother and run as fast, build as tall, and sing as loud as he does. She wants to leave her own mark on things. Literally. She basically potty-trained herself (praise to God). She’s had a great first 2 years.

So this mama has to get over the growing and remember to embrace every day, every stage, for the joys that it brings. When Kate wants to rock a little longer, or Sam wants to crawl in my bed and cuddle, I want to remember that these days are short and take every snuggle I can get.

Wiggly (or Wiggling) Party

Sam had this super loose tooth. I mean, loose. It’s the bottom left center one, right next to the gaping hole left by the last tooth. Unfortunately, the big catch is that the permanent tooth (also known as the “big” tooth), is already coming in behind it. And it’s crooked. We’ve been watching it for about a week.

On Thursday I called the dentist’s office and asked about it. They said that it would be good for the baby tooth to come out so the lip and tongue movement could work on bringing the new tooth into alignment. (That sounds like a pipe dream to me, but whatever.) She said if it wasn’t out by sometime this next week, they could “help” (aka pull).

So Stuart and I told Sam on Friday that he needs to really get to work on wiggling that tooth. Really. Because it needs to come out by Sunday night.

Sunday night comes along, and of course the tooth is hanging in there. Stuart, being the benevolent and caring father that he is, told Sam that they would make a coordinated effort of wiggling and wiggling and wiggling the tooth all night until it “falls” out. So they did. For hours. At one point I was invited to take a turn and declined.

Sure enough, the tooth finally came out. Did you know that the tooth fairy often has extra money on Sunday night because it’s the beginning (or end?) of the week? Apparently, this is true, because Sam scored $2 from the tooth fairy on Monday morning. Sweet.

Second Chance

As you know, Kate has been working diligently on potty training. However, the end of last week was a little rough. I’m not sure if she just got tired of trying or what, but it was an accident-a-day type of weekend.

On Wednesday, we were making pumpkin bread together in the kitchen and Kate passed some gas. Loudly. Of course, she and Sam thought that was truly hysterical. Then it happened again. Of course, like a good mommy, I asked “Do you need to go potty?” each time.

“No. No potty,” she said adamantly.

So, I didn’t worry about it anymore and got back to the baking, while she and Sam went down the hall. The next thing I hear is a “Potty!” from Kate.

By the time I get down there, we’ve already got a bit of a mess on our hands, as she is trying to get her pants off, but there is already some evidence, if you know what I mean. So I rush in to help and think I’ve got it very well contained until something happens and it goes falling to the floor. Great.

So, I start my mom-lecture, a skill that I am perhaps a little too good at considering my kids are so young. “Kate, you have got to use the potty when you need to go to the bathroom. This is just yucky. Too yucky. Way yucky.”

From the stairs in the hall comes a little helpful voice, my own personal Jiminy Cricket: “Mom, I think she just kind of needs a second chance. I mean, that’s what I think.”

Darn. So I switched into love mode and agreed that she’d been very good to try so hard to get to the potty and that she was a big girl for wearing big girl panties. I just hate it when Sam’s right.

BMB: Who's the Boss

Remember that show in the 80s-- Who's the Boss? Where Angela, a divorced mom raising a somewhat confused and off son hires Tony the ultimate housekeeper to live in with her family. Who's the boss? Well, at home it was really Tony. That's the catch-- she hired him, but he's in charge. Get it?


Well, I'm wondering where you go to order one of these so-called bosses for your home. Not the pint-sized, teenaged ones who think they know so much, but the Tony Macelli, vacuum the plaid curtains, fix dinner and slip in a little "How you doin?" every once in a while kind. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like being the boss at home is really less desireable a job than it's made up to be.

It first occurred to me a couple of years ago, when every day I would look down at the leaves that my dog was tracking in and think, "Man, that's annoying." "Oh, it's still there." "Isn't anyone going to pick that up?!!" That's when it hit me: no. No one is going to pick that up except for little old me.

Since then, it's been a down-hill slope of responsibility and multi-tasking. Picking up the groceries, the dirty socks, the kids from preschool. A lot of picking up involved. Who else but a mom can handle walking on a treadmill, reading the book-club novel, overseeing computer time and watching Dancing with the Stars at the same time? Not to mention the fact that the dryer and dishwasher are probably all running at upstairs at the same time. It makes me tired just thinking about it.

As a teenager, you fight for control over your life. Control is seen as supreme-- eat what you want, stay out as long as you want, go out with whomever you want. But we forget about the other side of the control coin-- responsibility. With control means responsibility for consequences, good and bad. It's not so much the good ones that bother us--getting paid for working is nice, and children are a nice byproduct of marriage-- it's the negative ones that are hard. Owning my home means raking the leaves. Eating and making what I want for dinner means washing dishes. Buying the clothes, car, furniture I want means making more money or eliminating that trip to the spa next week.

It occurs to me that the American Dream is not necessarily the responsibility, but the control. Lots of resources (time, money, stuff), and limited consequences. The problem is, other than during campaign season, those two things are rarely said to co-exist.

So, if you can think of a Tony who would be willing to come take all the responsibility at my house, I'd happily keep the control.

A Quiet Night. Really.

The kids and I stayed in last night, which is a rare feat. On the way home, Sam asked, "Who's coming over tonight?" When I said no one, you'd have thought he had just lost the national championship.

But as we were sitting at the dinner table, Kate did something funny (who can remember it all!). Sam said, "I sure am glad I decided to have her."

"You are?" I asked.

"Yeah." and then he added some superlative-- she's a good girl or she's funny or something like that.

I just thought it was nice of him to decide to have a baby (ha!) and to mention that he was enjoying her. What a good night!

Fall fun

I think someday it will be fall here. We had a little glimpse of it this week, but I hear the temp is headed up this upcoming weekend. Sunday afternoon was a perfect day-- about 78 degrees outside, sunny, not too windy. You just never know how many Sundays will be like that, so we headed to the park. We had a great time and took a few pics, below:

My big boy on his swing

Scary climbing accomplished!

Look at our big helper! We're so lucky that they enjoy playing together.

Daddy's Girl

Kate's a big girl!

What a big week it's been for Kate. She's potty training now and has been pretty successful in her pretty panties for the last week. Trained by the grace of God and sheer determination by my nearly-two-year-old.

Due to the potty-training, we moved her to a big girl bed too. (That really just means changing crib to toddler bed, but still, it's a big move.) She's done pretty well. She cries when I put her to bed now, but otherwise, has been great. She hasn't figured out to come out, and doesn't tear things off of her shelves or anything (yet). So far, so good.

As if that isn't enough, she got a new, big girl haircut. Since Miss Kate is against having her hair brushed, let alone pulled up or back or heaven-forbid with a barrette, I asked Rebecca to layer the back and not worry about the length. It's really very cute-- makes her eyes look so big. I don't have a good photograph yet, but you can see it in the pictures below.

Where did my baby go?!

BMB: Earned Potty Average

I told my husband last night that I think motherhood stress can be judged by a new statistic: Earned Potty Average. Its a count of the average number of times you go to the potty (there's that word again) in one hour. Use the following scale to determine daily craziness:


Less than 1: Big deal. I mean, my co-worker goes more than that on his own. You either have kids in diapers, which require entirely different statistics, or you've graduated to having potty soloists.

1-2: Average average. Maybe you have a preschooler that needs help wiping or a short daughter that can't reach the paper towels, but you're time committed is minimal. You're on your way to graduation!

2-3: Potty training is in season. You're definitely in there often enough to get to know the full lay of the land. Do you have to sing or read a book? Bonus points for that. You're probably even making a couple of unnecessary trips a day. Maybe a separate ratio should be tallyed for successful to unsuccessful trips. The lower the ratio, the more likely it is that we're eating out for dinner tonight. And don't ask why.

3-4: So sorry. At this level, you either have multiple potty trainers (twins, close-in-age children), or need to consult a doctor about potential bladder problems. I can't even imagine this level of potty trips, much less gather enough patience, encouraging words, or books to make those trips enjoyable. You probably need to consider investing in one of those blow-up portable potty seats a stranger told me about yesterday-- then little joey can go anywhere anytime! (As long as he can hold it long enough for you to blow up the seat, add the liner, and find a hidden place to put it.)

Oh, the drama.

BMB: Stupid Potty

I admit it. I hate potty training. I mean, it seems like a really good idea-- no more diaper changing: whee! A child who can take care of their own business seems like a true accomplishment.


That's the rub right there, really: no newly potty-trained child is really taking care of their own business. It requires you, the designated responsible party, to remind them to go, join them in the bathroom, wipe, and wash hands. Not to mention the book-reading while perched precariously on the side of the bath tub. The problem is, potty-trained is actually more high maintenance than untrained for quite some time.

Even the word "potty" sounds stupid. Yet, it's one of those fine examples of parenting vocabulary that has a way of slipping itself into my adult life. As in, "Excuse me, I am really enjoying this meeting about the resuscitation of the economy, but I need to use the potty."

So, even though I do want my children to become productive self-pottying members of society, I dread every step of the process required to get them there. Every accident is not only an inconvenience, but also a signal of parenting failure. It has nothing to do with the particular child who is actually going to the potty (or not); it has everything to do with mom. All the other moms look at you like, "Oh, well she started too soon" or "she's obviously not following-through on the program" or "she's definitely not using the Dr. Phil plan." It's all yet another opportunity to match up my own personal potty-training skills with the others and see who comes out on top.

Therefore, I will continue to hate potty-training until the line of true self-sufficiency is crossed. In an ideal world, I would wake up one day and find both children perfectly dry and ready to go in their Buzz Lightyear or Princess undies. Until that day comes, I'm a hater.

Soccer Pics

Sam had two soccer games this weekend-- a regular game and a make-up. The first game was more of the same-- general confusion with scattered moments of joy. However, some sort of light bulb went on for Sam in the second game. It involved figuring out the timing of it all-- kicking it harder so that he could get ahead of the pack. He scored 3 goals! It was great. Not that we're keeping score or care at all about the outcome of the game (okay, one of us does), but it was really fun and he had fun too. In that first picture above, he's just scored his first goal. You can maybe tell it's an emotional cocktail of shock and pride.

Unfortunately, there is no pic of my favorite soccer moment of the weekend: that being when a little guy from Sam's team decided to throw down with a guy from the other team. Not once, but twice. If you've never seen a 4/5 year old thump his chest as if to say, "bring it", then you are really missing out. On something. Not sure what exactly, but it was something to see.