I am a lover of technology. In fact, marketers label my household "early adopters." We are often one of the first to have new gadgets. Sometimes it pays off, like the tivo. Sometimes, we pay way more than everyone else because we had it two years earlier and in a lesser model-- like our circa 2000 2 megapixel digital camera.
My newest challenge is the new car and it's oh-so-handy dvd system. It's not just your average pull-down dvd player. No, it's embedded in the headrests, so that both kids can watch their own movie on individual screens, or switch and watch the same movie. I know, it's amazing. They even have wireless headphones, so Mommy doesn't have to listen to Happy Feet ever again. I hope. It's a mommy dream world.
However, I have always felt very strongly that in-car dvd players are not for everyday use. They are for long trips, extended waiting, that type of thing. Not for 5 minute trips to Target. And based upon the current amount of time it takes to get each of them started and set to the correct audio, etc, the time-to-movie could be greater than the trip itself.
The temptation is the lovely silence that occurs when the kids are plugged in. They actually look forward to the trip to the babysitter because of the enticing images of Hermie or Tinkerbell on the screen. Mommy can listen to whatever I want to, and no one complains. No Radio Disney. No Mamma Mia.
But I look backwards, and see my two-year-old in a technology-induced coma, with her little headphones balanced precariously on her little head and feel like I've signed a pact with the devil himself. With the DVDs on, I lose my kids to their cartoon wonderland. I miss out on the sometimes difficult, sometimes informative recap of their day. I miss out on our prayer time on our way to Jo's. I miss out on the colors of the sunset and the constant barrage of questions about where we're going next and who's going to be there. (I don't miss that part as much). When are they going to learn to bicker over the seats or the radio? When are they going to learn to play I-spy?
Giving into this technology makes me miss out on my kids and their growing up. And, for now, I'm not willing to miss that. So, I'm prepared to be the bad guy who takes the DVDs out of the car and puts the headphones away. I'm sure I'll miss my uninterrupted sports talk, but I'll be all the better for it.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
New No More
We've learned some lessons this week about our new car and its child-friendliness:
Lesson 1: Nothing christens a new mom car like vomit. At least that's what we've decided. Kate has been suffering from a high fever/stomach flu for the last 48 hours or so. Just when I thought she was past the worst of it, it flared up again yesterday afternoon, which I discovered only as we were on our way home from picking up Sam. In the new car. The good news is that all she'd really had was water, and it stayed mostly on her poor little body, equipped with a puffy winter coat (highly absorbent) and her car seat. Just one little spot in the middle of the mat on the floor board. So just after I'm thinking, "Poor girl! What am I going to do?" it occurs to me that we're in the NEW car. Then I'm thinking, "Poor me! What am I going to do?"
Lesson 2: Vomiting is one of those things that only parents of small children can think is funny. Once it was all cleaned up, it became kind of funny that here we are so excited about the new car—even Sam was concerned Wednesday when he spilled a little water in it—and here comes Kate! But when I tried to tell our salesman, Smokey (no kidding, that's his name), about it when we went to pick it up from its scheduled appointment today, he didn't laugh! In fact, he looked a little grossed out. Oh, that's not funny to you? Sorry. Must be a mom thing.
Lesson 3: People are not just more important than things, they are more important than very new, very expensive things. When I called to tell Stuart that Kate threw up, in the new car, and I tried to clean it with spot cleaner and was pretty sure I'd bleached out the floor mat, he had the gall to say, "That's okay. You did what you had to do. Don't even worry about the car. I'll look at it when I get home." What a trooper.
Kate is still on the mend. Today was the day where you think she's all good, and then she has a little relapse. She was doing great this morning, but like yesterday, her fever came back with a vengeance during naptime. The stomach part of the bug seems to be okay, but we're being really careful (and driving the Tahoe) today.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
New Ride
We have 3 cars. I know that's not normal. We have a much-loved 2000 Tahoe with more than 150,000. We have two grandma cars that we use to keep from putting too many miles on the Tahoe. They are good cars. They are both 1997s. We haven't had a car payment in at least 2 years, which is great.
Last week, the Aurora (the actual grandma car-- it was my grandma's before she had surgery) became seriously ill. We'd been having little problems here and there, but a check engine light came on. To spare you the gory details, let's just say it cost more to repair than we thought it was worth. Fortunately, we have two cars, so I just drove the other one.
Friday, Stuart and I went car shopping. New, used, who knew? We weren't really prepared to go car shopping, but we'd both been doing research all week. We ended up (again to spare you long story) buying a new Acadia, which is my mommy dream car. It's beautiful and has all sorts of fancy 21st-century gadgets (and safety features). I love it.
The kids had to be with us at the dealer while we finished up the paper work. Fortunately, not the entire day. About 2 hours total. That was plenty. Suffice it to say, they love the new wheels. They are so excited about everything about the new car (just wait until the DVD player is installed!)
Since we got the new car, Sam has been including it in our prayers. My favorite version was, "And God, thank you for our new car. It is so nice and COOL!" He also said, "Thank you for our new car. It is so special." It's pretty nice to see my 5-year-old thankful for a blessing that a lot of people take for granted. We definitely feel like God blessed us with this car (we got a great deal!), so it's always nice to say thank you.
Last week, the Aurora (the actual grandma car-- it was my grandma's before she had surgery) became seriously ill. We'd been having little problems here and there, but a check engine light came on. To spare you the gory details, let's just say it cost more to repair than we thought it was worth. Fortunately, we have two cars, so I just drove the other one.
Friday, Stuart and I went car shopping. New, used, who knew? We weren't really prepared to go car shopping, but we'd both been doing research all week. We ended up (again to spare you long story) buying a new Acadia, which is my mommy dream car. It's beautiful and has all sorts of fancy 21st-century gadgets (and safety features). I love it.
The kids had to be with us at the dealer while we finished up the paper work. Fortunately, not the entire day. About 2 hours total. That was plenty. Suffice it to say, they love the new wheels. They are so excited about everything about the new car (just wait until the DVD player is installed!)
Since we got the new car, Sam has been including it in our prayers. My favorite version was, "And God, thank you for our new car. It is so nice and COOL!" He also said, "Thank you for our new car. It is so special." It's pretty nice to see my 5-year-old thankful for a blessing that a lot of people take for granted. We definitely feel like God blessed us with this car (we got a great deal!), so it's always nice to say thank you.
Monday, February 9, 2009
A blessing, not a curse
Wednesday was a day. I mean, really the whole week was, but Wednesday was particularly fun. Not fun, that is.
We got home from church and both kids were headed for bed. I was reading and rocking Kate in her rocking chair, and Sam brought in one of his books to share. So I had Kate on one side of my lap, Sam on the other. We read two books and sang Kate's songs. Afterwards, we said prayers in turn, and Sam and I tucked Kate into her bed. Sam gave her a kiss, and she had to give Sam a kiss.
I was sitting there listening to the three of us singing together "Jesus Loves Me" and "Away in the Manger" and was moved by the stage of life we're in. The idea that they would both want to sit on my lap and sing songs together is really unusual-- a moment in time that will pass as quickly as it came. How blessed am I to have that moment. It wasn't a moment for grandma or daddy or papaw. It was for me. And boy did I need it.
I wish I could say I will remember it forever, but in truth, it will probably fade into the back of my mind with all of the other good moments. Over time, it seems that the good moments blend together in a general warm happiness. I wish I had a picture or a video on youtube to cherish or show at a wedding or graduation party. The best moments never come with a camera around.
We got home from church and both kids were headed for bed. I was reading and rocking Kate in her rocking chair, and Sam brought in one of his books to share. So I had Kate on one side of my lap, Sam on the other. We read two books and sang Kate's songs. Afterwards, we said prayers in turn, and Sam and I tucked Kate into her bed. Sam gave her a kiss, and she had to give Sam a kiss.
I was sitting there listening to the three of us singing together "Jesus Loves Me" and "Away in the Manger" and was moved by the stage of life we're in. The idea that they would both want to sit on my lap and sing songs together is really unusual-- a moment in time that will pass as quickly as it came. How blessed am I to have that moment. It wasn't a moment for grandma or daddy or papaw. It was for me. And boy did I need it.
I wish I could say I will remember it forever, but in truth, it will probably fade into the back of my mind with all of the other good moments. Over time, it seems that the good moments blend together in a general warm happiness. I wish I had a picture or a video on youtube to cherish or show at a wedding or graduation party. The best moments never come with a camera around.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
January Pictures
I know, I'm a little late. But I have some cute pictures of Kate's gymanstics "graduation." She's growing up, and she really likes 'nastics class. 
Kate is jealous of Sam's cubbies vest. So she took renewed interest in this hand-me-down and was calling it her cubbies vest.
We've taken to having Thursday night movie night. Here are my happy kids ready to watch with mama.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The artsy one
Sam has always been creative. He and I will make up stories together to pass the time, and he has always had a very active relationship with his stuffed animals. He used to pretend that his friends were over, even when they weren't.
But I've never thought of him as artsy. He never has liked to color, draw or paint. I love to color, so that always disappointed me. He'll do playdough, but not for long. He really doesn't like to get his hands messy. Once, a family member gave him an art center. It's in storage.
So yesterday, when I picked Sam up from pre-K, his teacher showed me some of the things he had made, and he started to tell me what he was working on in the art center and what we needed to do to finish it up. Miss Jaime (the teacher-- I know, it's confusing) said to me, "Sam is just an artsy kid. He's always working hard in the art center. He's very creative." Creative, yes. Artsy? Wow. Just goes to show that you never can tell...
But I've never thought of him as artsy. He never has liked to color, draw or paint. I love to color, so that always disappointed me. He'll do playdough, but not for long. He really doesn't like to get his hands messy. Once, a family member gave him an art center. It's in storage.
So yesterday, when I picked Sam up from pre-K, his teacher showed me some of the things he had made, and he started to tell me what he was working on in the art center and what we needed to do to finish it up. Miss Jaime (the teacher-- I know, it's confusing) said to me, "Sam is just an artsy kid. He's always working hard in the art center. He's very creative." Creative, yes. Artsy? Wow. Just goes to show that you never can tell...
BMB: The Discipline Diet
It’s the first of the year, and everyone I meet is on a “healthy eating” kick. In case you missed it, healthy eating is the new code word for dieting. No one’s dieting; they are adopting a more healthy lifestyle.
No matter what you call it, healthy eating is a lot like parenting. We’re all looking for the latest, greatest way to discipline our children, love our children, give them security and intelligence and self-esteem. So, a new book or idea comes out about how to best parent, and we’re all on it like ants on a picnic.
The problem is, whether it’s a new diet or a new discipline, I think the average person (assuming I’m that average person) has about a good week or so of new routine in them before life gets busy and you’re back at zero again.
Here’s my theory: We all have a baseline parenting style. Some of us are push-overs, or strict, or touchy-feely, or educational. Most of us are a combination of a lot of things—how we were raised, what we see on TV or on the playground, what the parent educator told us with our first child. Your day-in, day-out approach to raising your kids: that’s baseline.
A new method or strategy for parenting seems really promising, so the good parents that we are run home and put it into practice (read: try it out to see if it works). However, most of us are only willing to go at it so long without obvious results.
In that respect, dieting is much easier. At the end of the week, I’ve either lost a pound, or I’ve gained it. If I have gained, I can typically enumerate the super bowl snacks, lunch-time cookie and cake tasting that attributed to the problem. If I want to get back to losing, it’s up to me to go back to the method that produces the results I want.
With parenting, however, sometimes the results are not as obvious. Is my child’s good behavior because of my extra-good parenting technique, or is she just having a better week? Worse yet, is my son’s temper tantrum due to a lack of positive reinforcement or because he’s had too little sleep or because he’s just in a mood? Moreover, most of the parenting results I’m really after—success in school, moving out at age 21—don’t show up until much later.
The only hope I have in this is to keep trying—to replace old habits with new ones. In Galatians, Paul says this: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Gal. 6:9)
How does that look? I've heard it takes 20 days to build a habit, and only 3 days to break a habit. So for 20 days, I need to consciously try to apply what I've learned. I can ask God for help. I can ask my friends for support. Whatever it takes. At the end of 20 days, evaluate. Instead of looking at my kids, I need to look more at myself-- do I like myself better as a parent when I talk like this or encourage this behavior or incorporate this tradition? If so, it's working, and I have finally worked my way through to a new baseline. Whew. Now I'm tired.
No matter what you call it, healthy eating is a lot like parenting. We’re all looking for the latest, greatest way to discipline our children, love our children, give them security and intelligence and self-esteem. So, a new book or idea comes out about how to best parent, and we’re all on it like ants on a picnic.
The problem is, whether it’s a new diet or a new discipline, I think the average person (assuming I’m that average person) has about a good week or so of new routine in them before life gets busy and you’re back at zero again.
Here’s my theory: We all have a baseline parenting style. Some of us are push-overs, or strict, or touchy-feely, or educational. Most of us are a combination of a lot of things—how we were raised, what we see on TV or on the playground, what the parent educator told us with our first child. Your day-in, day-out approach to raising your kids: that’s baseline.
A new method or strategy for parenting seems really promising, so the good parents that we are run home and put it into practice (read: try it out to see if it works). However, most of us are only willing to go at it so long without obvious results.
In that respect, dieting is much easier. At the end of the week, I’ve either lost a pound, or I’ve gained it. If I have gained, I can typically enumerate the super bowl snacks, lunch-time cookie and cake tasting that attributed to the problem. If I want to get back to losing, it’s up to me to go back to the method that produces the results I want.
With parenting, however, sometimes the results are not as obvious. Is my child’s good behavior because of my extra-good parenting technique, or is she just having a better week? Worse yet, is my son’s temper tantrum due to a lack of positive reinforcement or because he’s had too little sleep or because he’s just in a mood? Moreover, most of the parenting results I’m really after—success in school, moving out at age 21—don’t show up until much later.
The only hope I have in this is to keep trying—to replace old habits with new ones. In Galatians, Paul says this: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Gal. 6:9)
How does that look? I've heard it takes 20 days to build a habit, and only 3 days to break a habit. So for 20 days, I need to consciously try to apply what I've learned. I can ask God for help. I can ask my friends for support. Whatever it takes. At the end of 20 days, evaluate. Instead of looking at my kids, I need to look more at myself-- do I like myself better as a parent when I talk like this or encourage this behavior or incorporate this tradition? If so, it's working, and I have finally worked my way through to a new baseline. Whew. Now I'm tired.
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