Tales of a 4-year-old fashionista

Living with a pint-sized, okay, let's call her quart-sized, fashion maven is a difficult task. Particularly when time is of the essence. I've tried many strategies over the years to accommodate my princess, but some weeks are better than others. This would be one of the others.

It all started Tuesday morning. Tuesday is a Jo's (babysitter) day, so one does not need to be particularly fashionable. Just comfortable and warm (now that its turned colder again). At least this is my philosophy. Clearly that is untrue. I pull out her navy knit pants and a long-sleeved Maranatha tshirt. And so it begins. My comments, for your enjoyment, in parentheses.

K: I am NOT wearing that shirt! (screaming, panting)
M: Why? It's a Maranatha shirt. You can think about Maranatha all day!
K: It is UGLY! I am not wearing that! NOT!
M: Okay, how about this purple tshirt. It's purple, your favorite color! (Not that it particularly matches said pants, but whatever!)
K: Ugh! I don't want to wear pants. I want to wear a DRESS.
M: I know that, but we are just going to Jo's, so we want to save our dresses for school and church days.
K: I do NOT want to save them. I want to wear a dress, or at least a skirt.
M: Well, it's cold today, so this would be best.
K: Fine.
(She begins to take off her pjs, so I think we're making progress here. We get on the shirt then...)
K: I am NOT WEARING THOSE PANTS! Those pants are TOO embarrassing. My friends will see me in them and I am not wearing them!
M: You've been wearing them all winter. (The logic approach. Ha.)
K: They are so embarrassing. I cannot wear them. I WILL not.
M: Well, you will, or else you'll be going in your underwear. I gave you several choices and this is it.
K: I want to wear leggings! That's what I want!
M: No, you had that choice earlier and said no. This is what we're wearing today.

Following this, she cried in her room for a few minutes more, while I left to check on Sam. When I came back, she had on her pants. But  no shoes.
M: Let's get on your tennis shoes today, not your flip flops. It's too cold.
K: UGH! I do NOT want those shoes.
M: Well, that's your only choice.

Amazingly enough, we got out the door and off to Jo's shortly after that. What a day, I'm thinking.

Fast forward to Wednesday. School day. All starts out well. Kate asks for me to throw her down some clothes to put on while she's watching TV. Generally, this diffuses any potential drama, so I agree and toss her a short-sleeved play shirt and some new leggings we'd just gotten that match. Here we go again.
K: I do not want to wear this. I want to WEAR A DRESS!
M: This is a dress, and the leggings are new and match with it.
K: Ugh. These leggings are pink.
M: Yes, but the dress is purple. Your favorite color! (Have you noticed my arsenal repeating itself?)
K: No, I do not want this.
M: Okay, I will pick out one more option, but you will pick from the two and then wear the other outfit tomorrow.

This was actually highly successful. She wore the original selection, and today wore the second with no drama. Great.

But back to Wednesday, and we still don't have on shoes. Kate picks out some silver tennis shoes with tight laces (JBF bargain, of course).

K: I will wear these shoes, but I don't know how to tie them.
M: No problem, I can help! (and i start to loosen the laces)
K: I need to be able to do this by myself so I can tell my friends at school.
M: Okay, we can start working on learning to tie laces. Take both strings... (ongoing lacing instructions).
K: That's too hard.
M: Yes, it will take some time, but you'll get it with practice. We'll work on it. (I say this while tying her shoes. All this seems calm, right? Helpful? Here we go again:)
K: What are you doing!?!
M: I'm double-knotting them because the laces of these shoes are so long and I don't want you to step on them.
K: NO! DON'T DO THAT! It looks bad and my friends will see the knot and that's SO EMBARRASSING.
M: Well, probably lots of your friends have double-knotted shoes because it helps them stay tied.
K: No. No one does. Don't do it. It's embarrassing. (currently one of her favorite words, can you tell?)

So, I acquiese on the shoe tying and pray silently for the teachers and aides that will be retying these bad boys all day long. Until we get in the car.

K: MOM! What did you do to my shoe?? You double-tied it! It's bad! Fix it! ACK!!! (and other general drama)
M: (I look back while DRIVING) It's just come undone. If it HAD been double tied, it wouldn't have come out so quickly.
K: Well double-knot them right now! Hurry!
M: No, I'll do it when we get to school. (She proceeds to cry for a couple of minutes as we make our way to school.)
K: Don't forget to double-knot my shoes.
M: Okay, when we get there.

So I get out to tie her shoes, and she says,
K: Double knot them, but do NOT make them look funny. Everyone will laugh. Just  make a normal, double-knot. (So I do, whatever that means. I tried my best.)
K: Good. That looks good, Mommy.

Whew, see what I mean? I mean, if this were every morning, I think she'd be up for adoption by now. All this to say that she is VERY particular about her clothing. So when you get dressed in the morning without incident, just say a quick prayer for me.

Swimming marvel

Kate and Sam started back to swim lessons in February and both kids passed their levels easily (3 and 6, respectively). Sam's "class" ended up being one-on-one sessions with his former private teacher, for group lesson price! We've continued that, and moved Kate up to level 3. She came home after Monday's practice and said, "MOM! In level 3 we have to swim in the deep end! I don't think that's a good idea." But after watching her last night I'm totally amazed! She is swimming, without a jacket, up and down in the deep end, both front and back strokes. She is swimming under the water (granted, with a little nose-holding). She's amazing, and getting even more fearless.

The most hilarious part was her attempt at diving off the side of the pool. She's not at all afraid to try it, but she stands (or kneels) in the proper pose, and then disregarding entirely the examples before her, jumps in with her hands still together and entirely above her head. It's hilarious. I'm probably not doing it justice, but trust me, we have some work to do there.

The other thing she reported to me after Monday night was that she might be in the wrong class, because she's only 4. Having now seen her classmates, I can tell you that one of the girls is at least 10, if not older. The other two look more her age-- probably 5 or 6. I think we'll be in level 3 for a while, but I just keep assuring her that it makes her a very big girl, just like Sam, to be able to swim so well!

Sam's doing very well, as usual, and working hard on his form. Eliot, his teacher, is such a blessing and very good with him always.

Yes, you too

The other day I was talking to Kate about all of the things she can be when she grows up (...while we were brushing her teeth. Don't ask me why that was what we were discussing, but if the dentist asks, tell him the subject was dental hygiene.) I said, as I often do, "Kate, you can be anything you want to be when you grow up." And I offer a helpful list of suggestions too, no pressure. I just want her to remember that pole dancer or professional cheerleader don't often come up, but you know, whatever she wants to be.

Sam, who overheard us talking, leans in and says, "Hey, can I be whatever I want to be when I grow up too? Anything?"

I had to laugh at this, because when I'm telling Kate about all the things she can do, I'm trying to counterbalance generations of girls who were limited in job selection to secretaries and teachers. I'm trying to empower her to take on anything and be the Speaker of the House or President or preacher or author or head football coach (probably not that one, but whatever. Someday.) I guess I don't give the same encouragement to Sam, who I think should be born with entitlement and pride in his little white male genes.

So, I respond, "Yes, Sam. You can be anything you want to be."

"Great," he said. "I think I want to be a pilot." (This was a first-- he is usually very adamant about becoming a video game creator.)

Naturally, I leaned over to Kate and said, "You know, you could be a pilot too. If you wanted."